Unemployed and pregnant, two words that I never thought would describe me, only a few short months ago, but have become my new reality. Losing my job and finding out I was pregnant, within weeks of each other, hit me like a surreal crap storm, for lack of better words. To be quite honest, I am 6.5 months into pregnancy and almost 4 months into unemployment and still don’t have clear picture of how, what at times seems like an impossible situation, will all work out. So this isn’t a post of how I “figured everything out.” Almost daily, I still find myself hearing my reservation, “Pity Party for 1, your table is now ready!” … However, usually after some tears-hormones🙄- and a few minutes with my woe is me attitude,  the cartoon rain cloud seems to go away and I snap out of it and  am gently reminded that there is a reason for this season. Amidst the (crap) storm swirling in my head, God keeps showing up and providing  in so many ways, filling me with a peace and hope…. Sometimes it just takes looking through a different lens – and maybe a little bit of Windex on bad day- to make that clear. In the thick of the uncertainty and stress,  sometimes I just need a quick heart  check to realize there is  so much beauty, gratefulness and  peace to be found….

Before the Story, there is a back story ….always

About this time 6 years ago, I was going back and forth whether or not I should stay in law school. I concluded my first 1L year, the hardest year, they say, but the whole time I was in school I had a huge conflict weighing on my heart…. Was this the right path for me? Did I really want to be a lawyer? I knew I wanted a career where I could make a difference but I wasn’t quite sure what the meant. At 23, I  was confused and still did not have clear picture of how I wanted my life or career to play out. I never  was the type of person who “knows what they want to be when they grow up.”  However, at that time, influences (in the form of an ex boyfriend, sorry to throw him under the bus) chirped in my ear almost daily to ensure me that they knew the answer, and law school wasn’t for me. All the red flags were waving, but you know, being young, dumb and “in love,” I just didn’t see them… well I actually chose to ignore them is probably more accurate. Looking back at those days, studying for the LSAT in secret and hiding my acceptance letters because a boyfriend hates the idea of  law school isn’t exactly what I would describe as being in a “healthy relationship.” LIVE and LEARN! He wanted to get married (now I can’t even imagine being married at 23 and especially to the wrong person) and 3 more years of law school and student loans were not in his plan. I thought we were “meant to be” so I figured this is something we would just “work through.” I grappled back in forth weighing the pros and cons of pursuing my legal career. Even though, the decision to leave school ultimately was my own, with many other deciding factors, I often wonder how different my thought process may have been during that time if I were stronger to stand up on my own.  A strength that took some heartbreak and years to find. Something, I will probably think about for the rest of my life and I am sure one day I will tell my own Daughter, “Don’t you go and  get so serious with someone while you are in  college… you figure out you first”.  Even though, I know, if she is anything like me, she will need need to figure out things on her own which sometimes means the hard way…. Can’t learn from your mistakes if you never make any, I suppose!

Anyways, so there I was, just a few weeks before starting my 2L year and I decided to turn my back on law school and go forth with a career where I thought I could make a difference working for a non-profit. A non-profit…really? Do you even get paid for this? You know, you can be a lawyer, right? You have a prestigious career and a nice paycheck at your fingers tips? You can volunteer on the side, my mom always reminded me. I think my parents (and many others) probably thought I was crazy. And well, maybe I really was to make that jump, but I would never trade the ride it has taken me on and the amazing people that have been placed in my life through making, what at the time seemed like a hasty descision….Surprisingly, even after making many mistakes, I don’t have many regrets in life. In particularly, I could never regret the path I chose or the bumps it caused because of  lessons learned along the way and were it all has lead me. I only do regret not finishing something I started ( oh and maybe the students loans, I could deal without those). However, as one door closed a new one opened. My heart and my mind was about to be unfastened  to people and a purpose I never knew my life even needed.

Shortly after I closed the book on Law school, I began my quest to find a career where I could “change the world,” – Oh Millennials. 🙄 After a short stint ( like 2 months) with another non-profit (which I thought I was going to love and I ended up hating and I couldn’t quit because I had just dropped out of law school and my parent’s would have killed me), I was offered a position working for an amazing organization that works to enhance the lives of people with intellectual and developmental disabilities ( down syndrome and autism etc.). Prior to landing this job, I had zero experience working with people with special needs, so I am happy they even hired me in the first place. I was so excited and thought, “this is it, I am really doing it. I am going to have a career where I can truly make a difference.” While that initial expectation may have had some truth, I quickly learned that I was the one whose life was about to be enriched in a way I never knew I needed. That became quite evident a few months into my job…. I planned a clean up project for our Buddies (people with IDD) and the college students they were paired up with in our school based friendship program. I made the mistake of scheduling this event for 8am on a Saturday morning. Well duh, Heather! What college students is getting up to go anywhere at 8am on Saturday morning? Needless to say,  all of the college kids bailed, and that left me and about 10 young adults with IDD left for this project. The car ride to the clean-up day I was so nervous. Thoughts were racing in my head “Will I know what to do?” Am I going to have to babysit? I am embarrassed to say, I was actually scared to be alone with someone special needs.  I had never been one-on-one with a person with a disability before and this was my crash course. I had my own expectations of how the day would go built up in my head, but as the clean-up day commenced, my worries began to subside. That day, something changed inside my heart. I began to see these guys I was working with not as just participants with disabilities in a program or simply “Dale who has Autism” but saw Dale, the roller coaster enthusiast who has traveled all over the world and can quote movies like it’s his job and has such a great sense of humor and beautiful heart. That day, we laughed hard, cleaned the heck out of the neighbored and for the first time, I started looking beyond the disability and saw the person first. A person who has desires, dreams, passions and talents just like the rest of us. These people had become so much more than “these people” they became friends, who made my life better and brighter. It makes me so emotional to think, if I never had this opportunity and exposure in my life, I would have gone on missing out  knowing so many amazing people, simply because, on the outside, they look or might act a little different. For almost 6 years, it was an honor to give that same gift that was given to me that day to so many other people. During those 6 years in that job ( which was so much more than a job), I wore many different hats and positions and still I would say, I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up but I knew I couldn’t be wrong sharing that mission with the rest of the world!

Kicked to the curb… The Saga begins

While I loved the organization and mission I worked for, I loved this guy named Jonathan too. The only problem, this guy I fell in love with, he lives in Florida and my job (and family) were in Pittsburgh… Dilemma ( cue that Kelly Rolland and Nelly song)….. We had been dating for a few years.  Although, I always tell people I count our relationship in reverse dog years. I am not sure if that is actually a real thing or if I made it up, but I say this because of the distance between us and well, because the whole first year Jon thought we were an “item,” I thought he wasn’t even interested in me sooo there is that – We have a relationship built on solid foundation of communication, as you can see😉  but that is story for another time. Sorry, J!😘  Our first year or so of dating, Jon was figuring out his own thing, getting his MBA in Jacksonville and working up the ranks in the Sporting Clays world, so we didn’t know exactly where we would land. However, as our relationship grew deeper, we knew we wanted to be in the same place and start a life together. I began to speak to my work about the possibility of relocation. We were an international organization and had people working all over the country, remotely and also, right in Florida. I was hoping, fingers crossed, I could possibly make the move but keep the mission that became such a big part of my life, as my career. I reached out to the senior leadership about wanting to stay with the company through any possible life transition- AKA,  I didn’t know what was going to happen but there isn’t much sporting clays going on in the city of Pittsburgh ( We know everything black and gold but Yinzers aren’t too familiar with shotgun sports…Sporting what??????) so if there was a way I could keep my job, it was looking like I was going to be the one heading south. To be sure not to screw myself over ( I thought), I typed in big bold letters in my inquiry e-mail, THIS IS NOT ME SAYING I AM MOVING OR LEAVING THE COMPANY, I simply want to explore my options to further my career with the organization. To my delight, In October of 2016, my senior leadership told me there might be something on the horizon come January 2017. Now I was starting to get excited! Jon and I might finally be in the same place. After so long, it was going to happen…. Could the stars actually align?!?

The months were ticking by and I wasn’t hearing much more about this “potential opportunity.” The excitement seemed to fizzle come December, which at the same time, my local boss, who was new to the organization himself, let me know he went ahead hired a new person, not new to the organzation, just from another one of our other offices, to join “our team” and work on development in Pittsburgh… Hmmm RED FLAG… this seems odd, this her job  description and mine seemed awfully simmilar, just with a different titles. Plus, I knew our budget in and out, and I knew we could not sustain another unbudgeted salary. He assured me that if by chance I do get the opportunity to move within the company this will be great transition for our Pittsburgh office, but if that doesn’t work out,  she will help us grow our team ( with myself included) and she has to raise her salary + 25% so it will all work out in the budget. I skeptically accepted that explanation and went on our winter break for the holidays and coming back to work in the new year.

In the next month, I came to find out the opportunity to move to the Florida office was off the table. The transfer for our newly hired development position was going down on Feb 1. I had my annual review on Jan 30^th. There again, I raised my still existing concerns about my job and bringing this new position on board. I was assured I had nothing to worry about. I was given a raise and news goals were set for 2017… Well don’t you know, about two weeks later, I get the phone call from my boss giving me the, it’s not you, it’s me talk…  it went something like, “Sorry, Heather, I have been getting a lot of push back from our headquarters team and unfortunately, we just don’ have it in our budget to sustain everyone’s salaries at this time,  this has nothing to do with your performance but  we are going to have to let you go”…

Ahh….Awww helll nahhh was my initial internal reaction.  I was floored with emotion. I  couldn’t keep it together and was so upset with myself that I let him hear me cry on the phone. I  knew I had to compose myself  and be strong, so after my initial response I dug deep and  channeled my inner alpha female, ( I am usually pretty laid back and passive and avoid conflict at all cost),  “You’re a dragon, Be a Dragon” Daenerys Targaryen moment.  In reality,  not that epic, but I wiped away my tears and  pushed back. I went to straight to HR because I was seriously feeling played. I never want to speculate on anyone’s heart or motive, because I truly don’t know, but this wasn’t fair and  at the very least, I felt like I was being intentionally pushed out of an organization I loved. HR seem a little dumb founded to get my call… they were under the impression I had resigned- FAKE NEWS, not true….and that I would be leaving Pittsburgh in the spring, with or without a position within the company. Here is where the waters got real muddy. The senior team and HR recognized that these two stories were not meeting up and “felt bad” for me that I was in the situation after my dedication to the organization. They kept calling it a miscommunication, which I didn’t necessarily agree with, and told me they would  work to see if there was solution to “keep me onboard” just in a different role. Their temporary band-aid focused around “looking” for a national job so that I could stay within the company, as they were in a predicament that my position was going to be eliminated becasue our local budget really could not sustain all of these salaries together. As this unfolded, I consulted with my own legal and HR counsel. From what they said, I had a pretty strong case to fight for my job or an equal position within the company  or at the very least a nice severance package. I won’t get in to all those nuances and details because in the end it doesn’t really matter but to set the scene, I was preparing for fight, a fight I was determined to win. And then it happened….. in the midst of this battle, those 2 pink lines appeared and suddenly, fighting for my job sank to the bottom on the list of priorities…

I had so much to process. What,  I am pregnant? Do I stay in Pittsburgh now? How can I have a baby without my family around for support?  J and I  need to find a a way to live in the same city and fast…Do I move to Florida?  If so, when? Where will we live? Do I try to take a lesser paying job just to have some stability and insurance? Crap Insurance! I am pregnant, I need that!

While all this was swirling around in my head, not to mention all the other terrifying thoughts that go along with an unplanned pregnancy, I backed off from the battle to keep my job. I interviewed for the internal national position within the organization, which ultimately wasn’t offered to me and then I gave up hope, because, to tell you the truth, I was weary. I conceded in this  war of attrition and threw in the towel. I worked out a deal with HR to stay onboard through the middle of May, keeping my company insurance until July. It wasn’t ideal, it wasn’t a severance, it wasn’t a job,  but I was drained and ready to move on and start planning out the next chapter of my life.  People kept telling me to fight but, plain and simple, I was over it. This mountain that seemed like the biggest obstacle just a few weeks ago was being dwarfed in comparison to the road  ahead. Life began to feel like a haze.. Wait could this really be happening??? I lost my job and now I am having a baby? Time to get my “ish” together!

 Job Hunting While Preggo

From the day I received the phone call telling me my position was eliminated… final answer, I was on the hunt to find something new and just move on. At this point, Jon and I didn’t have real plan of how we wanted everything to go down so I was applying and interviewing for jobs, both in Pittsburgh and Florida ( more so in Florida ) and actually remotely too. A remote position was ideal so I could start working ASAP from anywhere without worry about our permanent location. I still didn’t know what I want to be when I grow up.  I loved the job I had simply because of the mission,  but do I really want to fundraise again? .. but what now? Do I stay in non-profit world? Do I move to the private sector? Trying to network during this time was tough. Other than my inner circle of friends and family, no one knew I was pregnant so it was difficult to convey the gravity of the situation. The first few months, I wasn’t having much luck, not to mention, I was incredibly sick with round the clock nausea and vomiting. Job searching when you can’t even stomach to  keep down a popsicle isn’t  exactly the easiest thing  in the world but by June, I was starting to get some traction. I  had interviews with a few good organizations scheduled …finally a  glimmer of hope.

So I landed a few interviews but now the new questions was how should I proceed in such a delicate sitaiton. Should I be up front on the first interview and tell these potential employers I am preggo? “Yeah, so you don’t know me but  you should  really hire me.  I am going to leave in a few months for a little “vacay” aka maternity leave, but I promise I am good worker and won’t peace out and bail on you after I have this baby!” How do I say that? I consulted with  some close advisors and after many of google searches, I received mixed reviews on the best way to proceed job searching while pregnant. Some sources say you should be upfront from the very start, where others argue this is completely a personal decision, that should not have any baring in your hiring. They  actually  say you should not mention anything until after a formal offer is extended. The bulk of my interviews happened to fall in June and July, I was at a  point that I wasn’t really obviously  “showing”  and I wanted to be considered for my abilities/talents without, “should we really hire the pregnant chick?” in the back the of the mind’s of potential employers. With that, I decided I would proceed somewhere in the happy medium of the two different perspectives. If I were being seriously considered for the position or offered a position, I would share the news of my pregnancy before accepting any offer. Not to mention, I was a little concerned what future employers would think about me being unmarried and pregnant …  I know, there I go again, caring what other people think. They don’t know me… they don’t know my story, and my insecurities didn’t want that to be the first impression they had of me. I know people are suppose to be professional and not weigh those things into their consideration…but hey, their human, I know how it goes…

Interview, offer, silent treatment, back pedal

I had been on several interviews with one particular organization, a retirement community in Florida. They were starting a campaign to build a new nursing home and were interested in having someone come in to spearhead that fundraising campaign, as well as other development initiatives. We talked on the phone twice and I came in for 2 interviews as well, hiding my baby bump with flowy black -always slimming, I’m a right?- dress and a big old bag strategically placed. They seemed super excited about my experience and what I could bring to the table. After my second interview, I got the call.  They wanted to extended an offer.  Nothing in writing, mind, you, this was all over the phone. I was very excited and told them I wanted to consult with my family and Jonathan before formally accepting the position but  I was super interested  and thanked them for the offer. I also, mentioned, for the sake of transparency, I do want to let you know I am about 4 months along in my pregnancy. That is when the call seem to go silent.. Hello, Hello, are you still there? The Executive Director, she herself a woman, seemed a bit taken back with news but then said to me, I actually job hunted while I was pregnant too so I know how hard it can be. Pheww okay- she is cool! She then asked me if I would be interested in the company insurance, which I replied, yes. She told me she wanted to check with me that the company’s policy, which started 90 days after employment, to make sure it would pick me up and cover pregnancy, as some insurance companies do not (see below for more on that). I thanked her for checking on that information for me, as it could be a deciding factor in my acceptance. She said she would call me back first thing the next morning with more info.

The next day came and went and I never did get that call. I thought maybe she just got busy or doesn’t have any answers for me just yet, so I gave her a minute ( actually a few days) but followed up before the week was over. I left a few messages and emails but never heard anything in return. I had a bad feeling, but Jon was staying optimistic for me, pepping me up with the maybe she went on vacation, I wouldn’t worry talk. I followed up again, but another week went by and still no word. I knew what was happening. I was getting the cold shoulder  ( and not the cute trendy top of the summer) because they didn’t want to hire the knocked up chick! I mean, I get it, I totally do. Maybe they need someone throughout the duration of the fall and winter and can’t take time off the project, but it would be nice just to hear that instead of radio silence.  Don’t worry,  Hunny, I don’t have time or money to sue you people, is that I was what I wanted to  call her up and say…..Almost 3 weeks lapsed from my offer and I did not hear a thing … That is, until Jonathan ran into a friend who actually did the initial networking for me with this company. “Ironically,” the day after, I  finally get a call back. The conversation was super awkward. The backpedaling ensued and I could tell the ED was very uncomfortable and did not want to say the wrong thing. The explanation I received in response to the silent treatment was that she had a conference and was  “really busy.” Shoo, that must have been some conference! I asked her again about the company insurance and the clarification she told me she would check into and let me know for sure by tomorrow. I thanked her and told her I was still very interested in the job but understood if she did not want me to start until after the baby was born. I could be flexible with start date if that worked better for the company. She then mentioned something about coming on part time for a while, throwing out a few vague suggestions and an “ I would hate to have you start a job and not get health coverage” but said she would get some answers finalized and she would call tomorrow so we could proceed.  4 days went by,  finally bringing this story to an  end. I received a voicemail from the ED stating the company decided to go in a different direction and combine positions with a finance role… yadi, yadi yada, the offer was off the table… I saw it coming from a mile away but it’s still felt pretty crappy... They wanted me to work for them until they found out I was having a baby.

In hindsight, maybe I should have told her about being pregnant from day one, or maybe I shouldn’t have told her until I signed a contract… but I guess I will never know. I don’t think I’ll get a “next time” now because even if I have get another job interview during this pregnancy, the growing bump is getting harder to pass off as one too many cheeseburgers. Oh welll….again, LIVE AND LEARN!

 

Obama for yo Momma!

In the midst of all this crazy job drama, insurance was another piece of the puzzle weighing heavily on my mind. My oldest sister just gave birth, I saw the hospital bill and know what it “cost” to have a baby.  YIKES! Not simply just, the cost but getting proper care for myself and this tiny human growing inside of me, is another big factor weighing on me. My OBGYN group  in Pittsburgh is amazing but with losing my company insurance, I wasn’t sure how it was all going to work out. Even if I would be staying in Pittsburgh, there was a good chance, I would be forced to switch my docs if my insurance provider changed. When friends and family found out I was pregnant ( and no job),  they quickly came to my aide, providing me with resources and potential options for health care.  Seriously, insurance is like a foreign language to me. It pays to have doctors and Insurance people in the fam☺️

Here again,  I was served up some of that not so delicious humble pie. Let me preface this by saying, this is in no way a political stance…. I am pretty much as independent as they come but .Obamacare, Medicaid, free clinics were the options I was hearing, and to be quite honest they sort of made me cringe. And to be even more honest, up until this pregnancy, I was pretty ignorant on how health insurance works in this country. I knew I would probably qualify for one of these programs being “single,” unemployed, and pregnant.. Yep! I could check off basically all of the desperation boxes✔️✔️✔️✔️   However, my nose was still up in the air, I don’t want to have a “welfare baby” and be at the clinic with crack heads, seriously I know that is terrible thing to say, but I thought it….Guilty. I had many preconceived notions. I told you, my pregnancy diet has been mostly consisted of humble pie from the start and figuring out how to get health coverage hasn’t been any differnt. I tried my best to come up with other solutions. I tried to see what I could do to keep United Healthcare ( my old company insurance) as my provider …. Welp a few phone calls later and I learned what those 2 little words “Pre-existing condition” meant. I was denied to buy health insurance plan outright because I have a pre-existing condition… Pregnancy…. Who knew! Wow this changed the game for me…. also allowed me to  wrap my head around the reality that so many people probably  face in a similar  situation or something even worse, needing treatment for something life threatening, yet are denied coverage … when you are in throws of a big life altering crisis or health issue, how you are going to pay to save your life should be the last thing you have on your mind, not the first, in my opinion. Anyway, on to the next option….After years and years of hearing debates on Obamacare, I finally, for the first time, visited the controversial  healthcare.gov…. Obamacare was completely different than I originally thought, there were  1 or 2 plans I could buy into… Good plans (UPMC for Pittsburgh readers) but unlike the campaign trail promises of yesteryear, those plan would not allow me to keep my doctor.  I really wanted to keep my doctor. I was already being treated for my pregnancy and I wasn’t sure if I would be moving to Florida. I didn’t want to switch doctors multiple times in this pregnancy  so at least while I was in Pittsburgh I wanted to stay under my OBGYN’s care. What I thought was my last resort was COBRA through my last insurance … which was going to run about $900 a month… not working and having to pay $900 for insurance wasn’t really going to work out for me but if I needed to do it for a few months I would find a way.  Luckily, I have a supportive  family  and partner to help me scratch by if need be.  With those thoughts, Obamacare was out so I went to my next doctor’s appointment and told them I was planning on switching to COBRA to give the office a heads up. They waisted no time talking me out of this decision. The head nurse let me know, even though I  would be paying to be insured and have coverage,  cobra actually barely covers anything with pregnancy and I would be paying mostly out of pocket and  It was going to be astronomical!  Their suggestion was I go the Medicaid route. Really Medicaid? Like for poor people (news flash, Heather, that is you right now )  I never even thought I could have  a good doctor,  let alone keep my own doctor if I was on this program.  Apparently, I was wrong and  you can! So I  did what I thought I would never do …and I applied for that govmenet aide and thankfully was accepted. It wasn’t how I thought it would look but it  really is ahuge answer to prayer, the baby and I are insured, I can keep our doctor and we are getting amazing care. It is once less worry  and burden taken off the table and for that I am very thankful. This is has been a humbling heart and perspective changing experience for me. Government cheese and humble pie are an acquired taste,  I suppose.

Now what?????

With the baby due to arrive just 3ish months from now, no major job prospects on the horizon and doctors and insurance secured here in Pittsburgh, it looks like we will be having this little girl in Pittsburgh ( future Yinzer in the making, Y’all😉)  I’ ve taken a pause from the job hunt due to the awkwardness of timing. It wouldn’t be ideal to start a job for a month or 2 before the baby is born and leave for maternity so I plan on picking things back up this fall in hopes to start a new career shortly after the bay is born.

The last few months, J and I have been back in forth between Pittsburgh and Florida. My “no travel date” is somewhere in the middle of October so thats when I will stay put. J is making the move up to the Burgh sometime in November as we get ready to welcome baby girl ( fingers crossed the babe stays cooking until close to my due date so he doesn’t miss anything) and then we are going to make  our way to  start a life as a party of 3 in sunshine state sometime after the new year…Of course, this is  the tentative plan, If plan C has taught me anything, it would be that that circumstances are always “subject to change”… I’ll keep ya posted!

Beauty in the Clouds 

While it certainly isn’t a cake walk, being unemployed and pregnant, this  season is offering me so much gratefulness and beauty, sometimes in the most unexpected places. To state the obvious, not having a paycheck does, well,  it just sucks, but it has made me appreciate our families and friends generosity so much.  My parents have always been awesome and provided me with anything I ever really needed but I’ve been reminded of  the blessing that is my family during this time. I am 29, they could really say, “tough luck,… You are an adult,  figure it out.” But they don’t.  Even more than that, they never even make me feel like their is a price for their support. They just do it and give it freely without asking or  making me feel low about accepting.  I don’t know what I would do without them. They  give me a roof over my head, I never have to worry about where my next meal is coming from or  stress about groceries or any basic needs and sometimes not so basic  wants-Thanks mom for treating me to that mani/pedi!☺️ I am  reassured  quite often that I will never be homeless or hungry in this family! It sounds like I am  being dramatic, but seriously if I didn’t have them, I would be out on the streets.  I can’t even  count all of the family and friends who have ushered in gestures of thoughtfulness and love during this crazy time.  Seriously, I’ll have a down day and then I will get a message from a friend or family member, exactly when I need it, with reassurance that everything will be alright. I don’t think its coincidence, I think its God reminding me all that he is providing and that he isn’t letting go. I am so grateful and hope that one day I will be able to return the generosity and love tenfold. At the end of the day,  family really is everything and this little baby is being born into a pretty awesome one at that!

Time is a pricless gift and I feel like I am valuing this most of all. Not having a job to go to everyday has allowed me to travel back and forth between Florida and  Pittsburgh frequently, allowing  Jon and I to  try to navigate our future together instead of via FaceTime. My free time has affored me time to really process this whole” having a baby thing” without the distraction and deadlines or stress of a job. I’ve been given the time to take care of myself. The days where I could barely pick my head off the pillow with insufferable nausea, I was able to keep my head on the pillow and stay in my PJs  till it was time to go to bed again because taking care this baby really is my only responsibility at this point. Maybe God knew I needed some stillness in the transition….

Probably most of all, the time spent with my family is something I am treasuring the most. As you probably read in my  last blog post my sister recently had twins and is on maternity leave.  During this time, I’ve been able to go lend a hand for her and her three boys almost daily  Not only has this been my  “baby boot camp” prepping me for what’s to come with my own little one on the way,  watching my 3  nephews as they grow and change and get to share this time is such a blessing. They won’t be little for long and I am lucky enough to have so much time with them as babies.  Even though, I am excited to start a life with Jon and our own baby,  I know moving to Florida isn’t going to be easy on me  because, as most of you know, or could tell,  I am freakishly close with my family. Sure there are other things, I could be filling my “days off” with right now other than changing diapers and watching the Mickey Mouse clubhouse ( HOTDOG) but I will take every day with them I can because I know I won’t get to do this forever… Okay, with the occasional break… 3 boys under 2  gets cray cray Y’all😜 but I really am cherishing this time.

 

 

As for the big question. What do I want to be when I grow up???… That is still TBD.  Honestly, I am not sure I will ever be able to answer that one. I think once this baby girl shows up, I might feel similar to how I felt about my last “job”….  Careers may come and go and even though we haven’t  offically met yet, I think she will give my life a new sense of purpose and passion I never knew I needed.  It gives me hope that I don’t have to  figure it all out because as long I am being a good mommy then hopefully I will feel like I am in the right place, doing something right….

90 days and Counting!

 

xoxo Heather